Words cannot begin to describe how wonderful it felt to lift at our new gym yesterday.  It’s a real gym.  With a real weight room.  A squat rack.  Places to bench and deadlift.  Yes, I lift like a man.  It works!  Being able to deadlift is the most exciting of it all!  Having space to do more compound movements with heavy weights is soooo exciting.  It certainly makes me want to shy away from Body for Life and go back to heavy lifting, but I know that’s not the best idea for me right now.  I miss doing Good Mornings and Hang Clean/Presses.   Those just don’t fit into BFL.  Technically, deadlifts don’t either, but I do them anyway with slight modifications.



Hubs and I had a great Thanksgiving.  I made two desserts on Wednesday night so that I could just relax and enjoy Thursday morning.  I need to do that more often 🙂

I have so many things to be thankful for this year!

  • an amazing first year of marriage.  A husband that loves me more than anything and who shares the same hopes and dreams that I do.  I think that this year was our best ever.  We overcame some adversity but it only brought us closer together.
  • new friends – I never would have imagined that a group of girls from a wedding planning message board would become some of my best friends in the world.  I’m so thankful that I have girls that I can  laugh with (and at), share stories with, and most of all, be myself around!
  • a stable job with good co-workers
  • that we both still have grandparents alive who we have good relationships with
  • Black Fridays with my mom and sister.  Kind of a tradition!
  • having some financial freedom, buying what we want when we want it
  • Latisse – my eyelashes are finally growing from the sparse stubs they were!
  • many, many other things!

I pulled out my Christmas decorations today and started putting them up.  It’s so exciting!  I also bought some new decorations at the end of the season last year that are new to me, I was excited to pull them out of the box because I didn’t even remember what I got!



It’s just one of those days when you need to take a Xanax, curl up under a warm blanket, and watch a movie that causes you to cry for hours.  Yes, that’s going to be my night tonight.

Body for Life is going well, surprisingly well actually.  I’ve gone nearly 3 weeks with no “cheat day” which has NEVER happened before!  I’m not craving junk food at all, my body feels stronger, I feel healthy and well nourished.

My current issues are completely mental.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve been conditioned to associate unhealthy food (particularly sweets) with good events- birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, parties- the best times with friends and family.  I don’t want to eat junk food but I feel like by not eating junk food, I’m missing out on celebrating my anniversary!  It’s so shameful.  Of course I can have a great weekend with my husband and not sacrifice the healthy lifestyle that I’m trying to lead.  Why doesn’t my brain understand that we don’t have to go get a big Italian dinner and finish it off with a half gallon of ice cream and our anniversary cake to have a really great time together?  It pisses me off to no end that I associate food with the happiest times of my life, instead of associating people and events with the happiest times of my life!

I’ve been retreating into my shell while dealing with these issues.  I’ve felt kind of like a zombie for the past few days.  Just removed from everything and everyone, trying to sort things out in my head.  I am so ashamed that I have let food have such an effect on me emotionally.  If you’re not an emotional eater, it’s almost impossible to understand the hold that it has over you.

I’m thrilled that I’ve gotten to the point physically where I don’t want junk food because I can’t even remember the last time I was there.  Now it’s just conquering the mental stuff, which is the majority of the battle.



I can’t believe that Sunday the 15th will be our first wedding anniversary!  The last year has flown by.

After being with someone for 6.5 years, you don’t think that your first year of marriage will change much of your relationship.  Yet as we near seven and a half years together, we realize that the last year has been one with a lot of growth for both of us.  It’s been a great year.  We’ve really grown up a lot in the past year and had the realization that we are actually adults now.

We have been planning for our future financially.  No, everything is not yet in place, but I clip coupons, switched from Viva paper towels to Bounty (yes, this IS a huge step for me), we are discussing life insurance options, working on ways to maximize our savings, and figuring out a good budget for us.  I’m also curbing my shopping addiction, which has  been the hardest.  When I’m sad, shopping makes me feel better.  I’ve been trying to transition that into new things like cleaning and trying new healthy recipes to take my mind off of whatever’s got me down.

We’ve grown closer emotionally which I didn’t even realize was possible.  The miscarriage forced us to deal with the first major adult emotional issue ever.  It also made us realize how much we want to start a family.

The downside of this past year is that we’ve grown apart from many old friends.  The majority of our friends are single guys.  Hubby and I pride ourselves on never making anyone feel like a third wheel when they’re with us.  We go out with our single friends regularly and never make them feel out of place or uncomfortable, they come over and hang out with us, many of them will even crash at our house.  The past year has been different though.  I think that they look at us differently now that we’re married.  We don’t stay in any more often than we used to (we’ve always been homebodies) and we’re still the same people! We do find that we’re relating more to our friends who are in serious relationships and prefer a night camped out on the couch watching movies to those who want go bar hopping in the South Side.

Regardless, it’s been one hell of a year with many more to come!  I’m so excited for 2010, there are big things coming for us next year!


I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be one of those people that blogs every day.  It’s just not possible!  However, I’m probably going to add a few new posts today.

I’ve been in somewhat of a funk for the past few days.  Hubby worked almost every night last week (working in food service, this means that he didn’t get home until at least 2am), leaving me feeling kind of lonely and neglected.  I don’t know how women whose husbands travel all the time can do it.  I didn’t feel like shopping, I didn’t feel like eating junk food (shocking!), and I really didn’t even feel like seeing anyone.  I just wanted to curl up in a hoodie and leggings and be in my funk, so that’s what I did.  I dread hearing that he hired a new manager because lots of nights alone is what that means for me.

The baby situation is hard for me right now too.  We’re making the right decision to wait a few months, I know we are.  Saturday would have been 18 weeks.  We would be finding out the gender.  I was driving last night and thinking about how much I’ve healed emotionally, and then I realized that it would have been big pregnancy milestone time.  Just a little slap in the face.

I’m sure this made anyone reading pull out their cell phones to call a “wambulance” for me.


Hubby and I had an amazing weekend.  It’s not too often that we’re off together for two days.  Sunday evening was one of those absolutely perfect evenings that reminds you of the millions of reasons why you love someone.

We checked out Robinson’s new movie theater and saw Couples Therapy with Vince Vaughn.  I was skeptical going into it, the previews hadn’t really looked too funny to me, but I was so pleasantly surprised!  I thought it was funny and really cute.  Not Wedding Crashers funny, but a good romantic comedy.  We took it as a good sign that we both saw so much of ourselves in the only functional couple in the movie.  We then hit up the new PF Changs and had a great dinner together.

After our movie/dinner date, we went grocery shopping and he was actually really getting into using coupons to maximize our savings, buy brands that we may not normally buy, and try new healthy products.  It was endearing.  I know that my methods are kind of frustrating and unorganized, but I’m working on it!

I took a vacation day today because he didn’t start work until 3:45p and thought it’d be nice to have almost 3 full days off together.  We made a lot of big decisions yesterday and today.

1.  We are going to wait until February to try to conceive.  We both really love the winter holidays and can’t think of a more perfect time of the year to have our baby.  Assuming all goes well, it would also mean that my maternity leave would coincide with the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas which would be so amazing.  Our family will be in town and we wouldn’t have to do all the visits and things like that.  It’s hard to wait that long, but the idea of having a winter holiday baby is so exciting!  It makes our favorite time of the year even better.

2.  We’re going back to the Body-for-Life workout plan.  BFL is a total pain in the ass, sore most days of the week, strict diet and exercise plan.  It’s workouts 6 days a week, 3 days of heavy lifting and 3 days of HIIT.  It’s goal setting and planning and organizing.  It’s a 12 week program and I’m really excited about the goals that I’ve set.  BFL (when followed correctly) is a really effective program that burns fat and builds muscle.  It’s the first workout plan I’ve ever followed so it feels kind of like we’re returning to old faithful.  I’m hoping to get into a routine of getting up early and getting to the gym in the morning.  Fingers crossed!

3.  On the workout topic, we’ve decided to change our basement (which is currently a man cave) into a gym.  We have a ton (probably close to 2k worth) of gym equipment in storage- a weight bench, squat rack, a cable machine (with back and tricep pulldown accessories), dumbbells, barbells, etc etc.  We’re going to put the 61″ TV in our upstairs living room which, while it will drive me crazy because our living room is small, is a good choice because at least we’ll get some use out of it.  We can return one of the HD DVR boxes, saving us $15 a month.  The basement is finished but we only really use it to watch football games on Sundays.  It just seems like a waste of perfectly good gym space.  We have to adapt for the life we have most of the time.

I’m really excited for a new adventure over the next 4 months.  We’re going to try to pay off at least two credit cards, up our savings, and curb our spending.  We know that it’ll be worth it, I just hope we can keep our motivation where it is right now!


I’m still here!  Not too much is new.  I’ve just been keeping busy.

I knew I was ovulating yesterday and made the decision not to try this month.  I had some spotting last week and am worried that the lining of my uterus isn’t thick enough to sustain a pregnancy yet.  I’m too scared of miscarrying this soon again.  It sucks knowing that I probably COULD get pregnant again but knowing that I shouldn’t.  So we’re going to skip this month.

I moved my sister to Chicago last weekend.  It was the worst trip of my life!  The U-haul broke down, we got stuck in rush hour traffic while I really had to pee, we couldn’t find parking for the U-haul, my sister had a mental breakdown when it sunk in that she was moving to Chicago and living by herself, the elevators in her building were old-school with the doors/gates that you have to open yourself and when loading them, you also had to hold them open, we had to pay random guys from the street to help us  move because it was raining, it rained most of the day that we were shopping on Saturday, my sister was being a total inconsiderate and ungrateful bitch, and it was just generally miserable.  Horrible experience.  Chicago looked like it is a great city though, I’d love to go back for a long weekend trip with some girlfriends for shopping and sightseeing (hubby probably wouldn’t be so into that).

I have lots of pictures and recipes to add but have been totally slacking.  Maybe tomorrow!  Every day, I keep thinking that maybe I should blog, then feel guilty because I don’t have pictures to add (they haven’t been pulled off my camera yet).


I took my first shot at coupon shopping today.  I am the girl who does not use coupons and doesn’t always look for sales.  Shame on me, I know.  I feel extra shameful after saving so much in one Target trip!

Okay, so this may not seem like super crazy savings to expert coupon users, but for us, this was a huge step in the right direction.

My total was 39.75 and my total savings were 36.75!

Here’s the breakdown:
Kashi Honey Sunshine – free after Vocalpoint coupon
Draino – not on sale, but I have a ton of hair and our shower drain is running slooooww – $3.84
Febreze Candle – also barely on sale (small Target sale discount) but I always love their holiday scents and would have purchased this either way – $6.96
Febreze Air Effects – free with purchase of Febreze candle (coupon)
Febreze Noticeables Starter kit – $3.34 (after $4 off coupon)
Tide laundry detergent – $4.99 (after $1 off coupon)
Gain fabric softener – $2.99 (after $2 coupon)
EPT pregnancy test (hope I need this soon!) – $6.09 (after $3 coupon)
Healthy choice meal – free with overage (after $2 coupon)
Snausages dog treats – $1.29 (after $1 coupon) and the other $1.79 (after $1 coupon)
Bounty 6-pack of paper towels – $4.49 (after $1 coupon)

These are all things that we would have purchased anyway.  I’m always afraid to get sucked into buying things that we don’t need or use just because we have coupons, but everything that I bought has a legitimate purpose.  I feel very proud of myself.


Yesterday was a random day.  Therefore, I’m giving you some random pictures.

First, I found a full bottle of the best Fish Oil/CLA/DHA supplement out there- Flameout (by Biotest) in the drawer at my office.  That was a good find, it saved me from buying another bottle.

Yes, that hand is my coffee table decoration and a main attention grabber in our living room.  Love it.

Next, I decided to try my hand (the fleshy one attached to my body, not the aforementioned one) at creating Chicken Cordon Bleu without a recipe for dinner with whatever was left in our house.  Oh yeah, and making it healthy.  It was easy peasy!

I used:
-4 frozen chicken breasts
-some leftover ham lunchmeat
-2 reduced fat Sargento Colby Jack cheese stick snacks
-a handful of Kraft fat free mozzarella cheese
-a handful of Weight Watchers Mexican Blend cheese
-some Italian breadcrumbs

It was so freaking easy and tasted SO GOOD.  Hubby even said that it was better than any chicken cordon bleu he’d ever had!  The fact that it was so low fat and low carb was an added bonus.  I just defrosted (super fast- I had this metal thing that I always thought was a cutting board, uh, it wasn’t, it was this thing that defrosts your meat really fast) the chicken breasts, sliced them in half (didn’t pound because they were still slightly frozen and pretty thin as it was), threw the meat and cheese in the middle, closed them, rolled ’em in breadcrumbs, sprayed the tops of the breasts with cooking spray to keep the breadcrumbs in place, and baked at 375 for about an hour.  They didn’t need any seasoning or anything.

Here are my results:

Yum, yum, yum.


It’s so ironic that when I was pregnant, everytime I went to the bathroom, I was terrified of seeing blood.  Now, 4 weeks post miscarriage, I want nothing more than to see blood.  I just want to get my period so that I feel normal again.  I’m in this weird pregnant limbo.  I’m no longer pregnant but I don’t feel like I’m not pregnant because I haven’t gotten my period.  So annoying.  I got a migraine last night and my skin is breaking out (I’ve never been so happy for either to happen because they’re normally indictive of Aunt Flo’s presence).

The Biggest Loser started last night!  Love it!  Even though that there is a bit of deception on production’s part (see previous contestant’s blog here), it’s still such a motivational show for me.  The contestants are totally transforming their bodies.  I finally started tracking calories again.  I hate to do it because it’s a pain in the ass, but it really does make you aware of what you’re eating and keeps me from snacking as much.